As one of 6 kids I have experienced the many different of personality temperaments of my siblings. Been through the strife of arguments with all siblings and with my parents. Truly annoying and not fun at all...but still just a part of life..especially life wherein you are intimately involved with people on a daily basis. Like any child I have been frustrated with my own parents at one point or another..whether it was justified or not. But, now that I am an adult..simply put..its different.
When you are a child..you obey your mom and dad (well you try anyway), you try to avoid their censure and do your best to please them. But as an adult..they are still your parents but they are no longer in 'control'. They will always have a point of advice to how you should do something..from raising your children to how to wash your car. Sometimes we will ask for it and sometimes we dont. :D
One of the things I have been pondering is how as children do we deal with our parents when we somehow do not feel our needs met, have our feelings hurt, or just dont get how a relationship with our parents work once we are grownups. I have had friends or known people to be so angry at their parents for causing them to have hurt emotions or somehow not meeting needs one way or another. And I wont lie..there have been times where I have even had the same feelings. Though I have never questioned the validity of these feelings or emotions whether they were mine or anothers.I have been questioning the validity or reasoning behind them. This is where I have ended up...
When we are kids..essentially our parents can do no wrong..when we are adults..we see that they are in fact fallible and human just as everyone else is. The Bible says to honor your Mother and your Father. And as annoying as it might be to some..that means in adulthood as well..not just when we are children. Our parents will make mistakes and will cause us to have hurt feelings..and they will not meet our needs at times. They no longer have that 'parent to child' role to fulfill..so needs are selfish basically. Our parents have fulfilled their role and now as adults we are self-sufficient.
1 Corinthians 13:11 says; "When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things."
Something that has been bugging me..and in fact this is why I am writing this..is that I know of someone who has had hurt feelings because their parent said something sharp..but in the end apologized. The grown-up 'child' is still mulling in their hurt feelings..letting it stew into bitterness. I have thought for a long time on the validity of their continued "feelings" and I just cannot find a reason. I cannot find any other reason than the fact that they have not put away childish things. A child resents and holds a grudge because Mom or Dad said they could not go out to a rated R movie with their friends. But an adult...should we not forgive and move on?? Im far from innocent..I too have nursed hurts and held grudges..but at one point or another I realized that these are my parents...to be treasured because not only did they give me life, cared for me etc..but these are the parents that God gave to me, to be living examples of His love. And they are the only parents I will ever have. So the question is,.... do I want to spend my adulthood being bitter, nursing hurts, and keeping grudges, or do I want to put that childish behavior away. Pretty simple answer really. And now as a parent...I hope my children will feel the same when they are grown. Hmmm how to teach that one...
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